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Bandblogger » Groupies….
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Groupies….

11. November 2006, 21:34 Uhr – Abgelegt unter: Unterwegs, Wir, Rockstars
Bassgott Schock

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Ein exotisches Wort das ich zum Ersten mal im damals verwirrend anzüglichen Druckerzeugnis Playboy antraf. Spät Nachts entzifferte ich mit gezückter Taschenlampe unter meiner Decke transpirierend mit geschwollenem Genital eine Reportage über Rod Stuarts ausuferndes Leben auf Tour.

Seien wir aufrichtig. Nicht die Liebe zur Musik, oder der Gedanke an meterlange Cadilliacs  machte mich zum Bassisten. Nein es war viel einfacher:

Rod (Steward nicht Gonzales) macht Rockmusik, das finden die Mädels schick, also will ich auch in einer Band sein.

Wie?

Alle Gitarristenplätze schon mit coolen Typen mit ähnlichen Ambitionen besetzt?

Egal, dann spielen wir eben Bass. Damit ausgestattet findet sich immer ein Platz in irgendeiner Combo und somit auch auf dem Schosse geneigter Groupies, die dann ja zwangs-läufig meine Metamorphose vom eher etwas pickeligen, weil sexuell unterversorgten, pubertierenden Pänäler in einen aufstrebenden zukünftigen Playboy Ghoastwriter beschleunigen würden.

Um es kurz zu machen, das mit dem Bass spielen hat ja dann auch geklappt…

   …

      …

Nach Jahrzehnten auf den Bühnen in Schwaben und Baden überkam mich die Sorge, dass der Artikel im Playboy damals vielleicht ein wenig übertrieben hat. So knüpfte ich alle Hoffnung an die kleine Tour der Kleinen Götter. Zwar war ich mir bewusst, dass verschwitzte, einäugige, mittelalterliche, schlecht gelaunte Bassisten kaum das bevorzugte Beutetier intelligenter, witziger, hinreissend aussehender Deutschrockfänninen mit expliziten Kenntnissen in Physiotherapie darstellen, aber die Hoffnung verendet zuletzt! 

Die Tour begann in dieser Hinsicht auch recht vielversprechend. In Zittau wurden wir vorgewarnt, dass üblicherweise des Nächtens Zahnspangenträgerinnen das Quartier der Bands aufsuchen. Wir sollten also lieber abschliessen. Sofort pflichtete die Bandgemeinschaft bei. „Nee, also so was könne man also echt nicht brauchen. Wirklich nicht!“. Nachts schlich ich dann zur Türe um das Eindringen der angekündigten weiblichen Meute zu erleichtern. Verblüfft stellte ich dort fest, dass das Schloss schon entsichert war. Hatte gar ein anderes Rockbandmitglied in Hinblick auf seine eigenen sexuellen Nöte heimlich die Tür aufgesperrt und uns damit alle in Gefahr gebracht? Unglaublich! Man denke nur an Limonadeflecken auf der Isomatte und ähnliche Sauereien!

Am nächsten Morgen fanden wir jedoch im angeblich frauenfreien Gemeinschaftsschlafsaal in einer klammen Bierlache einen unscheinbaren Fruchtgummi in Kirschform auf dem Boden. Natürlich konnte sich absolut kein Kleiner Gott vorstellen wie der alberne Snack dort hingekommen war, wo doch die Sachlage eindeutig Frauen/Mädchen Besuch nahe legte. Misstrauen und Zwietracht mischte sich in unseren sonst von Hohn und Spott geprägten friedlichen Touralltag. In so einem Klima kann sich die Liebe nicht wirklich entfalten. So blieben meine Viagras versiegelt und mein Stringtanga kam nicht zum Kampfeinsatz. Wäre ich doch doch Bademeister geworden… oder Gitarrist…

Weiter geht es das nächste mal mit Teil 2 der schonungslosen Aufdeckungsreportage aus dem Underground: "Das Rockbiz-FAKTEN FAKTEN FAKTEN-Hardcore Ödnis hinter der Bühne". Dann heisst es: 

Drogen

Kommentare »


  1. Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w005e3ac/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    Schade, bei eurem wunderbaren Konzert in Mannheim gab es mindestens zwei Frauen, die gerne mit Dir geschlafen hätten, lieber Frank. Mit oder ohne Fruchtgummi. Wobei ich persönlich dann aber doch schon eher Chupa Chups in mein Liebesspiel zu integrieren pflege. Lecker.

    Kommentar von lithiumionenklaus — 12. November 2006, 15:12 Uhr

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